How to Make Jury Duty Suck Less
Today was my first experience with jury duty. I’ve always heard that it isn’t hard to get out of jury duty, and today I learned some things about the proper way to approach a jury summons. Unfortunately, since I’m leaving DC before I’ll have the chance to get called again, this will probably be worthless, but maybe it will help someone else.
The summons says to report at 8am, but they don’t actually do anything until 9, and they don’t do anything important until 10, so tip #1: sleep in.
If you do get called, take your time going down the stairs/escalator. Law clerks don’t understand crowd management, so if you walk fast like I do you’ll end up in the front of a block of people and everyone who gets called will run into you as they go by.
Finally, when you go chat with the judge and lawyers, just tell them that whatever issue they find “probably” won’t effect your ability to be impartial. Since you would have to be lying to say this with any certainty anyway, the hedging is, in fact, the only truthful response, but it will make the lawyers uneasy and they won’t select you.
And that’s how I will make jury duty suck less if there ever is a next time in the District of Columbia. I wish someone had told me all of this before today.
